When Up is Too Much
the nuance and terror of managing up
In my own mentoring or coaching over the years, I’ve talked more than a bit about “managing up.” Managing up isn’t about “fixing” a bad manager—it’s about aligning with a manager on goals, priorities, and approaches. Done right, it’s a tool for fostering clarity, trust, and collaboration. But like many tools, it can be misused, and when it is, the consequences ripple through teams in damaging ways.
Like many leaders, I’ve spent my fair share of time thinking about how to set expectations with my managers. But lately, I’ve been reflecting on the fine line between effective managing up and the problems that arise when it becomes the sole focus.
It’s Always Trust
Managing up is a skill that, when done correctly, builds trust and alignment with your boss. This trust creates an environment where both you and your team can navigate situations with a clear sense of purpose. It sets expectations, promotes transparency, and benefits both the leader and their team.
But when managing up shifts from being a collaborative exercise to a performance crafted solely for upward consumption, trust—the foundational element—begins to erode. This is where the concept of managing up goes astray. It becomes less about fostering alignment and more about controlling narratives, and that shift is where trouble begins.
While this is one of those posts that has sat half-finished in my drafts folder for several months now, Michael Lopp recently wrote about this, covering similar points. He emphasized that effective communication with your manager is essential, but managing up is often weaponized to manipulate perception rather than foster honest, two-way communication. Lopp’s framing reminded me why I started this post in the first place: to explore what happens when managing up becomes a manager’s only focus.
Too Much is Too Much
Nearly every employee manages up to some extent—it’s part of ensuring alignment and support. But what happens when managing up consumes a leader’s entire focus?
You know the answer. It’s trouble. I’ve seen it play out multiple times in my career: a manager becomes so fixated on managing how they are perceived by their boss that they lose sight of their team entirely. What follows is almost always predictable: chaos, low morale, and diminished results.
I bet a lot of us have worked for managers who seemed more concerned about preparing for their boss’s meeting than checking in with their own team. Or managers who carefully reframe their team’s challenges to tell their boss a flattering story, sidestepping transparency in favor of optics. These behaviors have a cost, and it’s not just organizational inefficiency—it’s human. Teams feel neglected, unvalued, and ultimately disengaged.
The Cost
Studies consistently show that just three factors are highly correlated with employee engagement and team success:
Employees want to know their manager cares about them.
They want to feel their work is important.
They want feedback on their work and growth.
Now imagine how employees feel when their manager prioritizes pleasing their boss over supporting their team. The cost becomes glaringly clear:
If a manager cares more about impressing their boss than their team, employees question whether they matter.
If a manager is focused on spinning a narrative instead of addressing real challenges, employees feel their work is meaningless.
If a manager is too busy managing up to provide feedback, employees stagnate and disengage.
When managers over-focus on managing up, they not only neglect their team but also create a trust deficit. Morale drops. Engagement fades. And soon, talented individuals start to leave—not because they lack the skills or the drive but because they’ve been sidelined.
Balance & Trust
For those who have fallen into this trap—or those who find themselves victims of it—the advice is straightforward: learn how to manage up without abandoning your team. It starts with transparency. Let your team know where they stand, celebrate their successes, and confront their challenges openly. At the same time, ensure your boss understands what’s needed to support the team’s success.
Effective leadership is about balance. Yes, managing up is important, but it’s just one part of a broader leadership ecosystem. Your team’s trust is non-negotiable. Without it, you’re not leading; you’re performing—and not for the people who need you most.
At the end of the day, successful managing up is about trust—both with your team and with your boss. Without that trust, you’re not managing for the organization’s success; you’re managing for yourself. And that doesn’t just hurt your team—it hurts everyone.
-A